he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
