when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize