I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
