i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
