Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
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Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
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Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
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