She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Randomize
