he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
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