why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
