If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
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