so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
