Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
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