no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
