Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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