I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
