do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
