you guys were way drunker than both of me
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Randomize
