Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Randomize
