I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Randomize
