I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
