you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
