the new term for farting is butt boxing.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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