I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Randomize