I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
