I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Randomize
