Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
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