its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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