you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
