I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
