I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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