I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize
