Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
