I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old