Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (843): View more from South Carolina

  he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (843): he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number http://tfl.nu/katp
  Replies (20) Good night (437) Bad night (6682) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (858): View more from California

  Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (858): Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them. http://tfl.nu/9mrx
  Replies (22) Good night (6287) Bad night (1107) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  When you wake up, I have rum and am in town

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (519): When you wake up, I have rum and am in town http://tfl.nu/jlrs
  Replies (3) Good night (4536) Bad night (454) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (309): View more from Illinois

  why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (309): why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat?? http://tfl.nu/gupl
  Replies (18) Good night (4657) Bad night (1008) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (484): I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma http://tfl.nu/d8kr
  Replies (9) Good night (799) Bad night (3149) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (954): View more from Florida

  I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (954): I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!" http://tfl.nu/l7rl
  Replies (19) Good night (4346) Bad night (1915) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (580): View more from Oklahoma

  Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (580): Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me. http://tfl.nu/8lxk
  Replies (10) Good night (2229) Bad night (1101) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (425): Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested. http://tfl.nu/cy6p
  Replies (5) Good night (1256) Bad night (668) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (715): Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out. http://tfl.nu/yvz7
  Replies (13) Good night (2591) Bad night (470) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed. http://tfl.nu/6rp2
  Replies (7) Good night (2486) Bad night (488) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (484): i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen. http://tfl.nu/hdza
  Replies (16) Good night (3802) Bad night (695) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (701): View more from North Dakota

  It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (701): It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in. http://tfl.nu/loaa
  Replies (4) Good night (538) Bad night (213) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (703): Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out. http://tfl.nu/hcks
  Replies (3) Good night (553) Bad night (336)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?

  (1-570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Wow.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (570): Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand? (1-570): Wow. http://tfl.nu/2i6h
  Replies (0) Good night (372) Bad night (206) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (+64): View more from New Zealand

  Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+64): Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed. http://tfl.nu/dscf
  Replies (0) Good night (424) Bad night (132) Order T-Shirt

Randomize