Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.