There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Did you just see the Batmobile???
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.