I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Randomize
