I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
ugly people sure do ruin things
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
