Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize