He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
