Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
