I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
