Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(231): View more from Michigan

Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.

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(571): View more from Virginia

I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed

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(323): View more from California

it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway

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(630): View more from Illinois

I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.

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(573): View more from Missouri

Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12

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(810): View more from Michigan

I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.

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(830): View more from Texas

i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...

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(954): View more from Florida

I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.

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(352): View more from Florida

Ok so I need a recap of last night...

(813): View more from Florida

YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that

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