I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Randomize
