Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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