i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
