I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
How does one acquire holy water?
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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