You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
