i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
