i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
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