3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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