You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
