i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
I forget how to act sober
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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