yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
