Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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