so explain again why im purple
no
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
