had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
