I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Randomize
