I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
